Sunday, July 28, 2013

Pity Party

Well, after so much trouble and nonsense in June and early July we have had relative calm  here lately. So glad for that.
However, this evening I was in Gabe's room putting away clothes. He does not like me to come into HIS room. I have reminded him on other occasions that the room is in a house that belongs to Dad and I and either one of us can come in if we need to. We do respect privacy when dressing but maintain the right to come in as needed. As I turn from putting clothing away I see that he has brought home some staff items from VBS last week. Because Gabe sometimes takes thing (steals) I ask him about the items. He closes his eyes and sticks his face up at me. "It's mine" he says.
"This is staff stuff. How did you get it?" I'm thinking that it is possible that someone did give it to him and I'm asking gently.
This time he turns his head away from where Dirk and I are standing, closes his eyes and says in a very calm measured tone, "it's mine."
"That is not what I asked. Did you just take this from church?"
Gabe closes his eyes and just sits there on the bed. Then I see that there is also stuff there that belonged to other kids. Dirk begins to talk to him about stealing. We have had so many conversations with him about stealing. Still items show up that we have no idea where they came from, or that we do know where they came from and he should not have them.
I tell Gabe that I am going to go through his room this week and clean out. He usually keeps his room fairly clean but it is getting a mess. Gabe protests. Dirk tells him, "it is going to happen and you will co operate and be nice. If we could trust you and believe what you say this wouldn't have to happen. It is time to go downstairs now." Dirk heads down the stairs.
Just then Gabe goes into panic mode. He is sure that his ambulance, a new toy 2 days ago, has gone missing. He cannot go downstairs. I tell him that he has to go now because Dad said and he can look for the ambulance later. Gabe then accuses me of taking his ambulance and messing up his room. He knows I did not mess up his room. I also did not take the ambulance. We have talked many times about not accusing when you do not know. I tell him that I will not put up with him making up lies about me. Gabe goes downstairs and immediately begins to cry to Dirk. He is blaming me for making him come down and not letting him have the ambulance and ....  Dirk tells him to stop the crying. He will get the ambulance later. It is late and we are going to read quickly and then go to bed.
After reading and prayers I give Gabe permission to quietly look for his ambulance and to spend a little time cleaning his room. The baby is already asleep. A few minutes later I hear a disturbance upstairs  and go up. Gabe is in his bed crying.Yes he has found his ambulance but he was making too much noise and Dirk has sent him to bed. Now he is mad. "You were told to be quiet. That didn't happen. You can clean tomorrow." Gabe turns up the intensity on the crying. "Stop the pity party," I say and walk out of the room.

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