Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Ribbon - variation on a theme

When Gabe was a baby he had lots of nice baby and toddler toys. He never placed with them. However, by the time he turned two he fiercely owned them. Don't you dare touch them. He still owns lots of nice toys and things that he plays with a little. He still struggles with the idea and reality of anyone else touching his things.  Even papers he brings from school are his and no one can touch them. Actually, we touch his stuff all of the time in the same way that families touch each others things. We have worked with him and worked with him on sharing or at least not having a fit if some one touches his things. We are not trying to steal things from him. However, the same thing is not true for him. If he wants it more than you do, it is his.

Because Gabe is gluten and dairy free he thinks more clearly now. He has enjoyed playing with Maree's baby and toddler toys which are in the living room. Angel is finishing high school online and the computer is required to be in a main room in the house, hence the toys in the living room. She can keep an eye on Maree while she works.

Maree has a special 'spot' that is a small quilt in the shape of a flower. It is very girlie in appearance. Gabe likes Marre's spot. He likes to sing. He places the spot on the floor and stands on it as if it is his stage. I have asked have asked him repeatedly not to stand on Maree's spot. It had gotten to the place where he would yell at her if she even touched it while he was singing. After all he likes it more than she does. This attitude has landed him in time out and he is not to touch her spot unless he is picking it up from the floor and putting it back into the box.

Now to the ribbon. The ribbon is a pale pink piece of satin ribbon about a foot long. Angel gave it to Maree and she likes to carry it around. Gabe also likes this ribbon. He is attracted to strings and things like that. He was becoming very possessive of the ribbon so I told him that he is not allowed to touch it. Within a few hours the ribbon went missing. By the next day I stated that the ribbon needed to show up by bed time. Since Maree leaves her things in every nook and cranny of  the downstairs that ribbon could be any where including under the couch or in the laundry hamper etc. Angel was sure Gabe had it and I knew that was a possibility too.

Dirk took Angel, Gabe and Maree out for the evening. They got home late. Angel quickly reminded me about the ribbon. I asked Gabe where it was. "I don't know!" he growled.

"I needed it now," I said.

"I don't have it. It is in Angel's room." he barked.

"Please go get it. She is up there." I said. Gabe was back down in less than a minute without the ribbon. "You have 5 minutes to come back with that ribbon or I am coming up to go through your toy cart."

"No! You cannot touch it!" Gabe shouted as he ran upstairs. He was back a minute later with the ribbon. He stood in the center of the room holding it. When I asked for it, he slowly and painfully brought it to me. I reminded him how I have shared lots of string with him over the years. This one is Maree's and he is not to touch it again. She has shared many things willingly with him, but he is not to take her things.

Here is one of my latest 'string' projects

Let me try the link again

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Ring & The Rock

     Gabe called from the upstairs bathroom stating that Angel had left her ring on the shelf. I called back telling him to just leave it alone. About an hour later Angel went up there and called out that the ring was missing. I was annoyed. I was working on my homework for I class that I am taking and did not want the disruption. But Angel had her tattle tale voice on and I could tell that things might blow up if I did not move.
     I headed upstairs. Gabe was already getting into bed. "Where is the ring?"  
    "It was on the shelf," Gabe answered.
    "Where is it now?" I asked.
    "I don't know," he said.
     I was unconvinced. "Go get the ring." I said it a few times before Gabe finally got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. He looked around aimlessly. Then he wandered back into the hall and began to look around there. Gabe likes small shiny things and has the bad habit of just taking what looks good. Just then Angel went zipping into Gabe's room and straight to her toy box. With in a few seconds she announced that she had found the ring.
    I scolded Gabe for lying and stealing. Then I went downstairs and had second thoughts. Angel found that ring so fast that it made me wonder. Angel, who is adopted, is also fetal alcohol effect. That means that her conscience does not work well. She has lied to us so many times. Maybe she was setting Gabe up just to see him get into trouble. It is so hard to teach these kids not to lie and steal. The lying and stealing is an issue with both of them.

   Now for the rock. Last weekend Dirk was planning to take Angel and Gabe to backpack camp with him. I would stay home with the baby. Gabe was so excited about going that he jumped out of bed and pulled something in his neck. It was just one of those annoying little cramps. Now Gabe became obsessed with the 'serious' injury to his neck. He felt he needed and ambulance to take him to the hospital. Dirk told him that there would be no ambulance. The choices were, stay home like the baby or suck it up like a man and go to camp. Gabe 'desperately' needed to go to camp like a man.
    We have lately been pointing out the differences between acting like a baby and acting like a man. It has been a bit hard on him as Gabe would like to act like a baby and be considered a man. You can't have it both ways. This baby nonsense has to go, so we have decided to call it like it is. The fact that there is both a baby and a man in the home have been helpful. He has made progress since that baby has been here. Maree is allowed to act like a baby, Gabe is not.
     Of course that did not stop him from whining  about his neck all day out at camp. When they got home the first thing Gabe told me was, "Dad got the rock out of my head. See?" he showed me his neck. I had no idea what he was talking about. As it turns out they had gotten so weary of listening to him whine that Dirk decided to see if trickery would help. First he massaged Gabe's neck to try to get the cramp out. Then he told him that he was going to pull the rock (pain) out. Gabe's neck still hurt where the rock had been. No wonder I can't get this kid into reality!