Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Food Bank
Gabe and Dirk had planned to go camping over night last Saturday night. Several other friends were also planning to go. However, on Sat. morning Dirk felt really bad. He decided to stay in bed. That meant that Gabe would not be going anywhere with his dad. That put him in a mood.
Now Gabe was mad at me. He decided that it was my fault for making his dad stay in bed. Attempts to explain that it was his dad's choice to stay in bed were met with ridiculous arguing.
Because it was Sabbath morning Angel and I were planning to go to church. Now Gabe would be going with us too. Usually he likes to go, but not this morning. He said that I could not "steal him to church" with me. While he dressed for church as usual he continued to say things like, "I will not be going with you. I can decide to go camping if I want. I can go by myself." (a worry some thought - I hope he doesn't try taking off on his own sometime)." I can decide if I want. You will not find me." If this were a silent movie you would think that he was an obedient child as he dressed in the usual manner. If you heard only the sound track you would think that he was refusing to get ready. I had walked away after the first few comments but I could still hear him talking. He was just making statements into the air.
On the way to church he informed me that he would attend his own class and not mine. I told him that was fine. I was thinking 'why would you go to mine?' It was good thing that we were on time. I had forgotten that his class was planning to go help at the food bank. They were loading to leave when we got there. His teacher is trying to show the kids how to become involved in community service. I was so glad that he got to go do something special. His whole mood changed when he realized that he was 'going by himself.' Of course he was with the class.
The teacher had all of the kids get a partner. She was Gabe's partner. He liked that. She said that he really helped. I was glad to hear that.
Gabe also was in a much better mood the rest of the day. I had not looked forward to dragging around a grumpy child all day. We were out all day. We went with the puppets to tell the Christmas story and hand out gifts to the children in the projects. Then we visited a friend and went shopping. I was so glad to go without all of the arguing.
Now Gabe was mad at me. He decided that it was my fault for making his dad stay in bed. Attempts to explain that it was his dad's choice to stay in bed were met with ridiculous arguing.
Because it was Sabbath morning Angel and I were planning to go to church. Now Gabe would be going with us too. Usually he likes to go, but not this morning. He said that I could not "steal him to church" with me. While he dressed for church as usual he continued to say things like, "I will not be going with you. I can decide to go camping if I want. I can go by myself." (a worry some thought - I hope he doesn't try taking off on his own sometime)." I can decide if I want. You will not find me." If this were a silent movie you would think that he was an obedient child as he dressed in the usual manner. If you heard only the sound track you would think that he was refusing to get ready. I had walked away after the first few comments but I could still hear him talking. He was just making statements into the air.
On the way to church he informed me that he would attend his own class and not mine. I told him that was fine. I was thinking 'why would you go to mine?' It was good thing that we were on time. I had forgotten that his class was planning to go help at the food bank. They were loading to leave when we got there. His teacher is trying to show the kids how to become involved in community service. I was so glad that he got to go do something special. His whole mood changed when he realized that he was 'going by himself.' Of course he was with the class.
The teacher had all of the kids get a partner. She was Gabe's partner. He liked that. She said that he really helped. I was glad to hear that.
Gabe also was in a much better mood the rest of the day. I had not looked forward to dragging around a grumpy child all day. We were out all day. We went with the puppets to tell the Christmas story and hand out gifts to the children in the projects. Then we visited a friend and went shopping. I was so glad to go without all of the arguing.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
New Computer Woes
Wow, my old computer had something burnout inside so I got a new laptop. It has been a learning experience. Why does it seem so different than the old one? It is the same internet, but it looks different.
Everything was bookmarked on my old computer and I found things easily. I almost couldn't find my blog. As I searched it was amazing to me how many things there are out there that say Gabe's Story. I never knew that before. Well, at least I found the blog. It should be much easier next time.
Everything was bookmarked on my old computer and I found things easily. I almost couldn't find my blog. As I searched it was amazing to me how many things there are out there that say Gabe's Story. I never knew that before. Well, at least I found the blog. It should be much easier next time.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Leaves Keep Falling on my Yard!
Because Gabe is the teen age boy in the house, he has been assigned the job of moving the fall leaves from the yard to the woods. A few years ago he hated this task. All of the raking hurt his hands and arms. Of course I helped a lot with the clean up then.
Last fall Dirk got him a leaf blower. This made all of the difference. Now he is a man with a power tool!
Last fall we had a hard time getting him to understand that the leaves needed to be blown to the woods at the back of the yard. He was having fun blowing them where ever. This year he has done much better at following a basic pattern to get the leaves to the back of the yard. They were so thick at some points that I had to get the yard cart and haul some of them back into the woods. At first Gabe was mad. It is his job so "just leave me alone!" is what he says.
Because he knew that he should not blow the leaves into the neighbors yard he left a 3 foot swath of leaves along the property line. Our neighbor keeps a perfect yard. I came home from work one day to see her showing Gabe how to blow the leaves back toward our woods. She worked patiently with him. I was impressed. Then I began to realize her motivation was to be sure that the wind did not blow them back into her yard. Oh well, he listened to her and the job got done. Both Dirk and I had tried to show him how to blow them a few days ago, but all he did was argue then.
The job is almost done. We will need to finish tomorrow. It is predicted to snow this weekend.
On a totally different note, Maree is really growing
Last fall Dirk got him a leaf blower. This made all of the difference. Now he is a man with a power tool!
Last fall we had a hard time getting him to understand that the leaves needed to be blown to the woods at the back of the yard. He was having fun blowing them where ever. This year he has done much better at following a basic pattern to get the leaves to the back of the yard. They were so thick at some points that I had to get the yard cart and haul some of them back into the woods. At first Gabe was mad. It is his job so "just leave me alone!" is what he says.
Because he knew that he should not blow the leaves into the neighbors yard he left a 3 foot swath of leaves along the property line. Our neighbor keeps a perfect yard. I came home from work one day to see her showing Gabe how to blow the leaves back toward our woods. She worked patiently with him. I was impressed. Then I began to realize her motivation was to be sure that the wind did not blow them back into her yard. Oh well, he listened to her and the job got done. Both Dirk and I had tried to show him how to blow them a few days ago, but all he did was argue then.
The job is almost done. We will need to finish tomorrow. It is predicted to snow this weekend.
On a totally different note, Maree is really growing
Friday, November 2, 2012
It's not 'merican dip because...
As I have mentioned before, we have put Gabe on a gluten and dairy free diet. This has helped him some. However, he still has some issues. He mispronounces and mislabels many things. He thinks that he is saying what everyone else is saying, but he does not listen carefully enough to realize that what he is saying is different.
Because we want to teach him to say as many things correctly as possible we have been trying to teach him that it is Miracle Whip not 'merican dip. I have said Miracle Whip to him hundreds of times, initially just restating it to him correctly and then moving into trying to get him to say it correctly.
Each attempt to get him to say Miracle Whip would result in him just shouting back 'merican dip and then whining. I would say listen carefully as I say it, but he would only shout back 'merican dip.
I divided it up. "Listen carefully - miracle."
"Miracle, whine..."
"Whip."
"Whip, whine..."
"Miracle Whip."
" 'merican dip, oohhh, whine..."
After several unsuccessful attempts I said you are learning to read. Look at the label on the jar. What does it say?" I pointed to the word miracle.
" 'merican, whine..."
"There's no N there so it can't be 'merican. It's miracle. Look at the word," I point again.
" 'merican, oohhh, I don't know, whine..."
"Look at it," I say again.
"I don't know, uuhh, whine..."
"Maybe it will help if you think of the word this way. Jesus healed the blind man and it was a _______."
"Dip," Gabe shouted. Other family members in the kitchen held their mouths as they tried not to laugh out loud.
"It was a miracle," I said. "Look at the word."
"Jesus healed the blind man and it was a DIP, I don't know, whine...." Gabe shouted. Now he would not stop talking about the blind man.
After a few more failed attempts I said, "just forget the blind man. Remember the word miracle." Hundreds of mentions of Miracle Whip have not stuck, but one mention of Jesus healing the blind man is now completely stuck. (John 9 if you are wondering where the story is found). I finally gave in that night and just gave him some. He had become so exasperated that nothing was going to work.
However, now every time he wants Miracle Whip he says, "It's not 'merican dip because Jesus healed the blind man, so oh I don't know. It's that." He is pointing at the Miracle Whip.
When I told my sister this story she said, "Why can't he just say salad dressing?"
My answer, "because some salad dressings have dairy or wheat and he needs to be able to communicate what he actually can have."
We're still working on Miracle Whip.
On a totally different topic, these are now available from my online shop.
Because we want to teach him to say as many things correctly as possible we have been trying to teach him that it is Miracle Whip not 'merican dip. I have said Miracle Whip to him hundreds of times, initially just restating it to him correctly and then moving into trying to get him to say it correctly.
Each attempt to get him to say Miracle Whip would result in him just shouting back 'merican dip and then whining. I would say listen carefully as I say it, but he would only shout back 'merican dip.
I divided it up. "Listen carefully - miracle."
"Miracle, whine..."
"Whip."
"Whip, whine..."
"Miracle Whip."
" 'merican dip, oohhh, whine..."
After several unsuccessful attempts I said you are learning to read. Look at the label on the jar. What does it say?" I pointed to the word miracle.
" 'merican, whine..."
"There's no N there so it can't be 'merican. It's miracle. Look at the word," I point again.
" 'merican, oohhh, I don't know, whine..."
"Look at it," I say again.
"I don't know, uuhh, whine..."
"Maybe it will help if you think of the word this way. Jesus healed the blind man and it was a _______."
"Dip," Gabe shouted. Other family members in the kitchen held their mouths as they tried not to laugh out loud.
"It was a miracle," I said. "Look at the word."
"Jesus healed the blind man and it was a DIP, I don't know, whine...." Gabe shouted. Now he would not stop talking about the blind man.
After a few more failed attempts I said, "just forget the blind man. Remember the word miracle." Hundreds of mentions of Miracle Whip have not stuck, but one mention of Jesus healing the blind man is now completely stuck. (John 9 if you are wondering where the story is found). I finally gave in that night and just gave him some. He had become so exasperated that nothing was going to work.
However, now every time he wants Miracle Whip he says, "It's not 'merican dip because Jesus healed the blind man, so oh I don't know. It's that." He is pointing at the Miracle Whip.
When I told my sister this story she said, "Why can't he just say salad dressing?"
My answer, "because some salad dressings have dairy or wheat and he needs to be able to communicate what he actually can have."
We're still working on Miracle Whip.
On a totally different topic, these are now available from my online shop.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
QR code
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Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Near Drowning
Well not really, but here's the story. We had gone camping for the week with friends and every one was at the pool. In line waiting with 60 other people to get in, I started to slather the sun block on Gabe's fair skin. He whined and didn't want it. I told him, "a few minutes of discomfort will save you days of pain."
Once we were in the pool Gabe was ready to leave. He was done after 10 minutes. "We are staying for quite a while," I told him. Angel and I both want to swim. Do you want to play the dunking game that we played before? You can dunk me first." Gabe didn't want to play.
Baby Maree enjoyed 'walking' in the pool for a short time. Then she got fussy. It was her nap time. I got her dressed and spent a few minutes walking with the stroller. Soon she was asleep. A friend who was reading a book allowed me to park the stroller next to her. Angel and I also took turns keeping watch over Maree.
Gabe hung out in the 1 foot section of the pool for quite a while. I did not push him to swim or work on building swimming skills. He really doesn't swim and doesn't like going under. After a while he decided to try the slide in the kiddie section. You land sitting in water that just covers your legs. After 1 time with Angel and I watching and guiding (at his request) he then did the slide several more times on his own.
A while later I became aware that Angel had somehow talked him into doing the BIG water slides. The first one had a tube that you sit on to ride down. Gabe's light weight made him glide down and float about half way across the landing pool. However, when he got off of the tube he slipped and went under for a second. He popped up fast. "Oh I'm going to drown!" he said.
"You're not drowning," Angel said. "Your feet are on the bottom and your head is up." The water was chest deep.
A short while later Angel talked Gabe into trying the other slide. I was surprised that he even tried. This slide was steeper at the end. There was no tube. Everyone who went down it plunged into the water. I stood on the other side of the rope that surrounded the slide landing pool. I wanted to get to Gabe quickly, but could not wait right at the bottom. As Gabe shot down the last part of the slide, I dove under the rope to get to him. He came up sputtering and coughing a bit. "Help me I'm drowning!" he called out. His feet were already on the bottom and his head up. He had come in just a few seconds. As I touched him, he was not sure whether he wanted to grab me or continue to wipe the water out of his face. "I drownded," he said.
"You didn't drown, you just went under the water for a few seconds. People do that all of the time. You did a good job," I told him.
"I did?" he asked. "I drownded and I did a good job."
"You did not drown and that's what makes it a good job." I said.
"I drownded and that's a good job!" Gabe said.
"You did NOT drown - good job!" I said.
"Good job," Gabe said.
Once we were in the pool Gabe was ready to leave. He was done after 10 minutes. "We are staying for quite a while," I told him. Angel and I both want to swim. Do you want to play the dunking game that we played before? You can dunk me first." Gabe didn't want to play.
Baby Maree enjoyed 'walking' in the pool for a short time. Then she got fussy. It was her nap time. I got her dressed and spent a few minutes walking with the stroller. Soon she was asleep. A friend who was reading a book allowed me to park the stroller next to her. Angel and I also took turns keeping watch over Maree.
Gabe hung out in the 1 foot section of the pool for quite a while. I did not push him to swim or work on building swimming skills. He really doesn't swim and doesn't like going under. After a while he decided to try the slide in the kiddie section. You land sitting in water that just covers your legs. After 1 time with Angel and I watching and guiding (at his request) he then did the slide several more times on his own.
A while later I became aware that Angel had somehow talked him into doing the BIG water slides. The first one had a tube that you sit on to ride down. Gabe's light weight made him glide down and float about half way across the landing pool. However, when he got off of the tube he slipped and went under for a second. He popped up fast. "Oh I'm going to drown!" he said.
"You're not drowning," Angel said. "Your feet are on the bottom and your head is up." The water was chest deep.
A short while later Angel talked Gabe into trying the other slide. I was surprised that he even tried. This slide was steeper at the end. There was no tube. Everyone who went down it plunged into the water. I stood on the other side of the rope that surrounded the slide landing pool. I wanted to get to Gabe quickly, but could not wait right at the bottom. As Gabe shot down the last part of the slide, I dove under the rope to get to him. He came up sputtering and coughing a bit. "Help me I'm drowning!" he called out. His feet were already on the bottom and his head up. He had come in just a few seconds. As I touched him, he was not sure whether he wanted to grab me or continue to wipe the water out of his face. "I drownded," he said.
"You didn't drown, you just went under the water for a few seconds. People do that all of the time. You did a good job," I told him.
"I did?" he asked. "I drownded and I did a good job."
"You did not drown and that's what makes it a good job." I said.
"I drownded and that's a good job!" Gabe said.
"You did NOT drown - good job!" I said.
"Good job," Gabe said.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Pajama Beans
Poor Gabe. We try not to have too much fun at his expense. It's just sometimes he makes it so easy.
Gabe had a baggie full of jelly beans that he was carrying around with him and picking at. He had laid that bag of beans on the living room floor near where he had been playing. Fred sat down on the floor right in front of the bag of jelly beans.
"Move," Gabe began to shout at Fred.
"No" Fred said. "I'm working on a project here." (He had his computer).
"Move!" Gabe shouted again. "You're sitting on my pajama beans!"
So hard not to laugh right out loud.
Gabe had a baggie full of jelly beans that he was carrying around with him and picking at. He had laid that bag of beans on the living room floor near where he had been playing. Fred sat down on the floor right in front of the bag of jelly beans.
"Move," Gabe began to shout at Fred.
"No" Fred said. "I'm working on a project here." (He had his computer).
"Move!" Gabe shouted again. "You're sitting on my pajama beans!"
So hard not to laugh right out loud.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Keep right on a Rollin'
I am going to have to check out the ingredients for another fast food restaurant. Earlier this week the guys stopped to get something to eat. They believed that they carefully ordered for Gabe. Yet later that day Gabe was very silly and argumentative. It was almost impossible for anyone in the house to have a conversation without Gabe showing up to argue about whatever was being said. His arguments were totally ridiculous. He would say things like, "Hey Mom, don't call Fred..." and then he would use a word or two that he just heard us saying. These words would be totally random words from our conversation. He would also but in saying things like, "No it's not" or "leave her alone, she doesn't want to do that" or some other crazy comment that had nothing to do with the current conversation.
It was impossible to say things like, "please add that to the grocery list. I'm going to stop at the store tomorrow." This comment was made to Angel, but Gabe butted in saying, "just leave her alone Susan, she's not hurting you."
After a good nights sleep the arguing stopped but Gabe reverted to old patterns of just repeating movie lines over and over. While this has never totally gone away, there is usually significantly less than we've had the past few days. Gabe has been stuck in repeat mode for a few days now.
To top it off, Gabe has heard Fred's alarm going off twice this week. It plays the theme from Rawhide over and over until it is shut off. The first time Fred had gotten up a few minutes before it went off. His bedroom is just off of the kitchen where Gabe was eating breakfast. Fred had run outside to quickly move his car out of my way so Gabe and I could leave for school in a few minutes. The theme kept playing on some electronic device that I am not going to touch. "Shut that off!" Gabe demanded.
"It's not that loud. Just eat and we will leave." I said.
"But it's hurting my ears!" he said. Since he wasn't making a motion to cover his ears as he sometimes does I decided that he was just complaining so he would have something to say. I think that more than half of his complaining is just to have something to say. His body language shows when something is really bad. Yes the repeating song was a bit annoying - just live with it. It's only a few minutes. Learn to cope.
A few mornings later Fred was in bed. He had left his bag in the kitchen, under Gabe's chair of all places. Soon the alarm began to play. I knocked on Fred's door to let him know it was going off. Within a minute he came out to get it.
"Turn that thing off!" Gabe demanded. "It just keeps repeating."
"You're a fine one to complain about things repeating," Fred answered as he turned off the alarm.
It was impossible to say things like, "please add that to the grocery list. I'm going to stop at the store tomorrow." This comment was made to Angel, but Gabe butted in saying, "just leave her alone Susan, she's not hurting you."
After a good nights sleep the arguing stopped but Gabe reverted to old patterns of just repeating movie lines over and over. While this has never totally gone away, there is usually significantly less than we've had the past few days. Gabe has been stuck in repeat mode for a few days now.
To top it off, Gabe has heard Fred's alarm going off twice this week. It plays the theme from Rawhide over and over until it is shut off. The first time Fred had gotten up a few minutes before it went off. His bedroom is just off of the kitchen where Gabe was eating breakfast. Fred had run outside to quickly move his car out of my way so Gabe and I could leave for school in a few minutes. The theme kept playing on some electronic device that I am not going to touch. "Shut that off!" Gabe demanded.
"It's not that loud. Just eat and we will leave." I said.
"But it's hurting my ears!" he said. Since he wasn't making a motion to cover his ears as he sometimes does I decided that he was just complaining so he would have something to say. I think that more than half of his complaining is just to have something to say. His body language shows when something is really bad. Yes the repeating song was a bit annoying - just live with it. It's only a few minutes. Learn to cope.
A few mornings later Fred was in bed. He had left his bag in the kitchen, under Gabe's chair of all places. Soon the alarm began to play. I knocked on Fred's door to let him know it was going off. Within a minute he came out to get it.
"Turn that thing off!" Gabe demanded. "It just keeps repeating."
"You're a fine one to complain about things repeating," Fred answered as he turned off the alarm.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Don't touch the monkeys
It is time for family worship. Gave has showered and is wearing green fleece PJ's with monkeys all over them. Angel has decided that she will read from the Bible tonight. She sets Maree on the couch beside Gabe. Maree's latest goals have been trying to move her body from position A to position B. She is making progress. As she sits on the couch a little more than her arm's length from Gabe he is watching her intently. As she reaches for one of the monkeys on his shirt she falls toward him. It is really just a little slide on the couch. "Get her off! She grabbing me," Gabe says with urgency in his voice.
"She's just touching you a little," Angel says as she lifts Maree off of Gabe and sets her back up. Angel resumes reading but soon Maree is reaching for Gabe's PJ's.
"She's touching me!," Gabe says again.
"You will be Okay," I say to him.
"Angel, Maree is touching me, she's gonna get my arm. She just hit me. Just get her now," Gabe sounds a bit more pushy.
"She didn't hit you," Angel says to Gabe. "Those were just love pats. They are really soft.."
Gabe still has trouble telling the difference between little pats, taps, bumps and big bad hits. He tattles on it all.
"She's just touching you a little," Angel says as she lifts Maree off of Gabe and sets her back up. Angel resumes reading but soon Maree is reaching for Gabe's PJ's.
"She's touching me!," Gabe says again.
"You will be Okay," I say to him.
"Angel, Maree is touching me, she's gonna get my arm. She just hit me. Just get her now," Gabe sounds a bit more pushy.
"She didn't hit you," Angel says to Gabe. "Those were just love pats. They are really soft.."
Gabe still has trouble telling the difference between little pats, taps, bumps and big bad hits. He tattles on it all.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Spider web
A spider has built a large sheet web on top of the window just inside the front door. We live in the woods and get wispy little spiders that look almost like the web. Gabe has seen the web. "We have to vacuum this web!"
"We will get it in a few minutes. I am busy right now," I say.
Gabe surprises me with what he says next. "But Angel, it's her web."
"What?" I ask.
"The web belongs to Angel. She made it," Gabe says.
Angel bursts out laughing and we all laugh. "Gabe," I say, "Spiders make webs. We are going to vacuum that web and it's little spider too."
"We will get it in a few minutes. I am busy right now," I say.
Gabe surprises me with what he says next. "But Angel, it's her web."
"What?" I ask.
"The web belongs to Angel. She made it," Gabe says.
Angel bursts out laughing and we all laugh. "Gabe," I say, "Spiders make webs. We are going to vacuum that web and it's little spider too."
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Pancakes
We have a Sunday morning ritual - Gluten free pancakes for Gabe. He always wants to help make them. This is a challenge for me. He has preconceived notions about what needs to be done. He has watched me some and just wants to do it himself. He KNOWS how - just dump in some powder (mix), slop in some water, smash in an egg, and move it around with a fork for a moment, dump it in the pan and 6 perfect pancakes miraculously appear.
Over the weeks I have been allowing him to help with various parts of the mixing process. I want him to watch carefully as I do the rest. I explain what I am doing, but he really doesn't listen and watch with a learning attitude. A while back we started with the egg. He wanted to put in the egg. He grabbed the egg and smashed it against the side of the bowl. More egg went down the side of the bowl than into the bowl. Also lots of shell went in. "Ohhh," he whined as could not believe that it didn't work perfectly.
"It takes practice," I said. He has decided not to do the egg. He wants to add the water and stir.
This morning he added the water and gave a little stir. He just wanted me to hurry up and dump it in the pan. There were many lumps, big and small. "We have to get the lumps out first," I said. "They won't be good with lumps. Lumpy pancakes are nasty. When you get the lumps out then they are good." I started to show Gabe how to smash a lump against the side of the bowl with the fork and then stir. I have shown him this several times before but 'it is too much work for him'. He's "so tired he just can't". As I start to show him again this morning he tries to bolt from the situation. I stop him and tell him he has to try. I have decided that we are not going to run away from little problems. We are going to learn to work through them. I insist that he watch carefully and try. He whines some but gives it a try. His hand co-ordination is interesting. He can tie intricate knots and other things like that, but he has trouble getting the last bite of food from his bowl or with things like the specific stirring process that it takes to get lumps out of pancake batter. I think that part of it is the thought process that it takes. He is sooo tired after 30 seconds or less of trying to do something 'hard'.
I have him smash out a few of the lumps and he whines as he tries. I finish, but I make him watch. As I pour the batter into the pan he says "You gonna make me 6." I assure him I will make 6 pancakes. He wants 6 every time. The pan will fit 2 medium size pancakes at a time. I check the first 2 but they are not quite ready to flip. "You gonna flip them?" Gabe asks.
"In a minute. They are not quite ready," I answer.
"Go ahead, you can do it. Just do it now," Gabe coaches.
"They are not quite ready," I say again.
"Just do it, I know you can," Gabe's coaching has a bit of insistence to it.
"Do you want pancakes that are made right or slop?" I ask.
"I want s..." Gabe trails off as he looks at me. He has realized that he hasn't listened as well as he needs to. I am impressed. He usually just fires back some answer that often makes no sense. He is thinking at this point.
I say again,"Do you want pancakes that are made right or do you want slop?"
"I want pancakes that are right," he answers.
"Ok," I say, "then let me decide when to flip them. If I do it too soon they will just be slop." Gabe does not whine. He watches as I flip them, because by now it is time. "See they're just right." Gabe nods.
Over the weeks I have been allowing him to help with various parts of the mixing process. I want him to watch carefully as I do the rest. I explain what I am doing, but he really doesn't listen and watch with a learning attitude. A while back we started with the egg. He wanted to put in the egg. He grabbed the egg and smashed it against the side of the bowl. More egg went down the side of the bowl than into the bowl. Also lots of shell went in. "Ohhh," he whined as could not believe that it didn't work perfectly.
"It takes practice," I said. He has decided not to do the egg. He wants to add the water and stir.
This morning he added the water and gave a little stir. He just wanted me to hurry up and dump it in the pan. There were many lumps, big and small. "We have to get the lumps out first," I said. "They won't be good with lumps. Lumpy pancakes are nasty. When you get the lumps out then they are good." I started to show Gabe how to smash a lump against the side of the bowl with the fork and then stir. I have shown him this several times before but 'it is too much work for him'. He's "so tired he just can't". As I start to show him again this morning he tries to bolt from the situation. I stop him and tell him he has to try. I have decided that we are not going to run away from little problems. We are going to learn to work through them. I insist that he watch carefully and try. He whines some but gives it a try. His hand co-ordination is interesting. He can tie intricate knots and other things like that, but he has trouble getting the last bite of food from his bowl or with things like the specific stirring process that it takes to get lumps out of pancake batter. I think that part of it is the thought process that it takes. He is sooo tired after 30 seconds or less of trying to do something 'hard'.
I have him smash out a few of the lumps and he whines as he tries. I finish, but I make him watch. As I pour the batter into the pan he says "You gonna make me 6." I assure him I will make 6 pancakes. He wants 6 every time. The pan will fit 2 medium size pancakes at a time. I check the first 2 but they are not quite ready to flip. "You gonna flip them?" Gabe asks.
"In a minute. They are not quite ready," I answer.
"Go ahead, you can do it. Just do it now," Gabe coaches.
"They are not quite ready," I say again.
"Just do it, I know you can," Gabe's coaching has a bit of insistence to it.
"Do you want pancakes that are made right or slop?" I ask.
"I want s..." Gabe trails off as he looks at me. He has realized that he hasn't listened as well as he needs to. I am impressed. He usually just fires back some answer that often makes no sense. He is thinking at this point.
I say again,"Do you want pancakes that are made right or do you want slop?"
"I want pancakes that are right," he answers.
"Ok," I say, "then let me decide when to flip them. If I do it too soon they will just be slop." Gabe does not whine. He watches as I flip them, because by now it is time. "See they're just right." Gabe nods.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The spoon
Every school morning I pack Gabe's lunch while he eats breakfast. I take out the dishes from the day before and make sure the pack is clean. Every time I take out yesterday's spoon Gabe demands, "put that back!" I have told him repeatedly that I will put a clean one in. Yet we have to go through this every day. He used to do it with the sandwich box too, but stopped that. He just won't stop with the spoon though.
Just Drop It already!
"Why did you break the green plate?" Gabe suddenly demands in an accusing tone. For a moment I have no idea what he is talking about. Then I realize that he is talking about my green mixing bowl. I accidentally knocked one of my favorite bowls off of the counter last week. It shattered when it hit the floor. I really don't want to be reminded of this unfortunate event.Gabe begins to lecture me, but I cut him off quickly.
"That is enough. You will not mention the green bowl again." I say. It is not his job to lecture or discipline me. About a minute later he is ready for a second helping of the beans and chips that we are having for dinner. "Susan, please get me some more beans." Gabe asks in a somewhat demanding tone.
"In a minute," I say.
"I said now!" Gabe responds in a demanding tone.
"Excuse me. I have been working all afternoon while you have been playing." "SO," Gabe buts in. "So I am going to sit here and enjoy my food before I get up again."
"Do it now," he persists.
"I will get them in a minute," I respond. Gabe continues to whine about seconds every 10 -15 seconds.
This day has sure had it's ups and downs. It started out rough. Gabe began arguing and whining as soon as he got out of bed. He was upset and confused because we were going to the doctor - for me. I had an inflamed cyst removed from my back. Then we were dropping Angel off at the dentist and continuing a few blocks down the street for an intake appointment for counseling for Gabe. He repeatedly asked the same questions and said the same things. "I have no school? You going to the doctor for your back? You can't go to the doctor! I'm going to the doctor not you! I'm going with Dad on Wed and you can't go! I already did eat breakfast! (Not one bite yet) Why do I have to eat breakfast? You didn't give me my pill. Why do I have to take my pill?" All of these statements or arguments are said with a clearly defined whine or as demands and each was stated several times. While I'm trying to get him to come to the table and eat (we have to leave in a few minutes and all of the arguing has put us behind) he is putting on a pair of thin cloth shoes that Angel gave him. He has been told to put his boots on after breakfast, but he is determined to wear the shoes. "Angel said I could. She said I have to!" Angel has not said anything to him about the shoes.
"There is snow on the ground and you need to wear boots." I say. "Those cloth shoes will not keep your feet dry today. When they get wet, they will be cold."
"So!" is his response.
Finally we get out the door. As we pull in the parking lot of the doctor's office Gabe exclaims, "This is not the hospital!"
"It's my doctor," I explain.
"No it's not!" he argues. I ignore this statement as we get out of the van. At the doctor's office he is sweet and polite. He helps Angel carry Maree's bag. He also becomes very concerned for me. I have an infected cyst on my back. It was a sore on his mom DJ's back that put her in the hospital where she died. (The 'sore' was actually cancer that was all through her body. Gabe does not understand the difference between big and little hurts). I assure Gabe that I will be okay. The doctor is going to cut out the sore and it will hurt for a few more days and then it will be gone. As we leave the office Gabe needs to know if I got a shot. "Oh yes, about 4 or 5 of them," (numbing) I tell him. "But I'm just fine." Gabe is afraid of shots. I want him to know that people just get them and then go on. Everything is okay.
Next we dropped Angel off for her dentist appointment. As we pull away Gabe notices that Maree is still in the van. "She forgot the baby," he says in a panic.
"Remember, Maree is going with us," I remind him. "She can't go in to the dentist."
"Just give Angel her baby back now!" Gabe demands.
"She's with us," I say as I am driving. A few blocks from the dentist is Taco Bell. I quickly change the topic as it comes into view. "Would you like a snack. One thing from Taco Bell?" Breakfast was quick and light. Given the number of things we are going to do today, lunch will be late. At Taco Bell Gabe can have a crunchy taco with beans lettuce and rice. No gluten or dairy. He loves tacos.
At Gabe's counseling appointment he is once again very helpful with Maree. He carried her bag and even held her for a few moments a couple of times while I dug out paperwork. He can only hold her for a few minutes at a time. She wiggles to much and he starts to loose her. He does not have the co ordination or the thought process to figure out how to reposition her without dropping her. He wants to help, but he does not want her to cry. It is only a few blocks from Angel's dentist so we are expecting her to show up during the appointment. When Angel shows up to get baby Maree, Gabe wants to go with her. He does not want to stay in the room with the counselor. However, he stays without argument.
After the appointment we stop at the store. Gabe just wants to go home. He whines about shopping for groceries. Soon we are on our way home. Honestly, shopping is so much easier without him. He hangs on the cart in such a way that it is hard to steer or go around to the next aisle without running him over. He whines when I ask him to let go. I am trying to teach him to walk a few steps behind me. This is hard for him. He has such a 'me first' attitude that he always want to be out in front leading, even if he doesn't know where we are going.
At home he is calm until supper time. Then it starts all over.
"That is enough. You will not mention the green bowl again." I say. It is not his job to lecture or discipline me. About a minute later he is ready for a second helping of the beans and chips that we are having for dinner. "Susan, please get me some more beans." Gabe asks in a somewhat demanding tone.
"In a minute," I say.
"I said now!" Gabe responds in a demanding tone.
"Excuse me. I have been working all afternoon while you have been playing." "SO," Gabe buts in. "So I am going to sit here and enjoy my food before I get up again."
"Do it now," he persists.
"I will get them in a minute," I respond. Gabe continues to whine about seconds every 10 -15 seconds.
This day has sure had it's ups and downs. It started out rough. Gabe began arguing and whining as soon as he got out of bed. He was upset and confused because we were going to the doctor - for me. I had an inflamed cyst removed from my back. Then we were dropping Angel off at the dentist and continuing a few blocks down the street for an intake appointment for counseling for Gabe. He repeatedly asked the same questions and said the same things. "I have no school? You going to the doctor for your back? You can't go to the doctor! I'm going to the doctor not you! I'm going with Dad on Wed and you can't go! I already did eat breakfast! (Not one bite yet) Why do I have to eat breakfast? You didn't give me my pill. Why do I have to take my pill?" All of these statements or arguments are said with a clearly defined whine or as demands and each was stated several times. While I'm trying to get him to come to the table and eat (we have to leave in a few minutes and all of the arguing has put us behind) he is putting on a pair of thin cloth shoes that Angel gave him. He has been told to put his boots on after breakfast, but he is determined to wear the shoes. "Angel said I could. She said I have to!" Angel has not said anything to him about the shoes.
"There is snow on the ground and you need to wear boots." I say. "Those cloth shoes will not keep your feet dry today. When they get wet, they will be cold."
"So!" is his response.
Finally we get out the door. As we pull in the parking lot of the doctor's office Gabe exclaims, "This is not the hospital!"
"It's my doctor," I explain.
"No it's not!" he argues. I ignore this statement as we get out of the van. At the doctor's office he is sweet and polite. He helps Angel carry Maree's bag. He also becomes very concerned for me. I have an infected cyst on my back. It was a sore on his mom DJ's back that put her in the hospital where she died. (The 'sore' was actually cancer that was all through her body. Gabe does not understand the difference between big and little hurts). I assure Gabe that I will be okay. The doctor is going to cut out the sore and it will hurt for a few more days and then it will be gone. As we leave the office Gabe needs to know if I got a shot. "Oh yes, about 4 or 5 of them," (numbing) I tell him. "But I'm just fine." Gabe is afraid of shots. I want him to know that people just get them and then go on. Everything is okay.
Next we dropped Angel off for her dentist appointment. As we pull away Gabe notices that Maree is still in the van. "She forgot the baby," he says in a panic.
"Remember, Maree is going with us," I remind him. "She can't go in to the dentist."
"Just give Angel her baby back now!" Gabe demands.
"She's with us," I say as I am driving. A few blocks from the dentist is Taco Bell. I quickly change the topic as it comes into view. "Would you like a snack. One thing from Taco Bell?" Breakfast was quick and light. Given the number of things we are going to do today, lunch will be late. At Taco Bell Gabe can have a crunchy taco with beans lettuce and rice. No gluten or dairy. He loves tacos.
At Gabe's counseling appointment he is once again very helpful with Maree. He carried her bag and even held her for a few moments a couple of times while I dug out paperwork. He can only hold her for a few minutes at a time. She wiggles to much and he starts to loose her. He does not have the co ordination or the thought process to figure out how to reposition her without dropping her. He wants to help, but he does not want her to cry. It is only a few blocks from Angel's dentist so we are expecting her to show up during the appointment. When Angel shows up to get baby Maree, Gabe wants to go with her. He does not want to stay in the room with the counselor. However, he stays without argument.
After the appointment we stop at the store. Gabe just wants to go home. He whines about shopping for groceries. Soon we are on our way home. Honestly, shopping is so much easier without him. He hangs on the cart in such a way that it is hard to steer or go around to the next aisle without running him over. He whines when I ask him to let go. I am trying to teach him to walk a few steps behind me. This is hard for him. He has such a 'me first' attitude that he always want to be out in front leading, even if he doesn't know where we are going.
At home he is calm until supper time. Then it starts all over.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wipe out
Gabe absolutely loves the TV show Wipeout. Watching people fall makes him laugh like crazy. This bothers me a bit. Yes they show it and make fun of the contestants, but it is the way that Gabe laughs and the fact that when we are somewhere else, he will laugh the same way if someone falls or drops something. It that setting it is very rude. I don't let him watch Wipeout all of the time. He has to promise to be good and to get out of bed the next morning without issue. No sassy rude comments or he will not get to watch Wipeout the next time that it is on. It is one thing to laugh at things people have taped just for the fun of it to make people laugh. It is another thing to laugh and/or be very rude during or for hours after the show. It seems that the sillier the show is, the more rude behavior we see for a day or more afterward. For this reason we limit these types of shows.
On a totally different note, while Gabe was watching the show tonight he kept talking about when he played Wipe out. He wanted to know if he could do it again now. Can we go there? Well the answer to that is quite simple. It is not there right now.
Last summer during a neighborhood event that we were involved in I rented Inflatable Fun. At first Gabe wouldn't try any of it. Then for some reason he decided that we were playing Wipe Out and he got in line for turn after turn. He is so sure that he was on Wipeout. Any attempts to tell him different were met with argument.
On a totally different note, while Gabe was watching the show tonight he kept talking about when he played Wipe out. He wanted to know if he could do it again now. Can we go there? Well the answer to that is quite simple. It is not there right now.
Last summer during a neighborhood event that we were involved in I rented Inflatable Fun. At first Gabe wouldn't try any of it. Then for some reason he decided that we were playing Wipe Out and he got in line for turn after turn. He is so sure that he was on Wipeout. Any attempts to tell him different were met with argument.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Whisper please
We have just gotten home from school and the first thing Gabe does is march upstairs calling out to see where Angel and baby Maree are. Maree, who has been a bit fussy the past few days (teething) is napping. Angel hushes Gabe. Gabe protests loudly, tattling on Angel. I quickly race from the kitchen to the stairs and hush Gabe and motion him downstairs. I send him into the library to sit for 5 minutes because he is still complaining loudly about Angel hushing him.
"I will be back in 5 minutes to talk with you," I say and leave the room. 5 minutes later I am back. Gabe is sitting in the chair that I have directed him to and crying. Quietly I say to him, "When Angel says 'shhh' to you, you have to shush. You close your mouth and stop talking. The baby..."
"I can talk if I want!" Gabe buts in.
"Shhh," I say. "If Angel or I say 'shhh' to you, you must close your mouth right away." Gabe's crying picks up.
"Are you listening?" I ask. I have kept my voice very quiet to help Gabe understand quietness is important at this time.
"I am listening! But Angel wouldn't listen," Gabe says rather loudly.
"Shhh," I say. "When Angel says 'shhh' you have to close your mouth. If you need to tell me something then find me and whisper. Say (I'm whispering at this point) 'Mom, I need to tell you something.' Can you whisper?"
"Mom I to tell something," Gabe blurts out loudly.
"Now let's say it only whisper." I whisper again, "Mom I need to tell you something."
"Mom," Gabe is even louder.
"Shhh, whisper," I say.
"Whisper!" Gabe nearly yells at me.
"Quiet, and do not say another word. Listen to me. I know that you know how to whisper. We are practicing." Gabe starts bawling. "When you get yourself together I will be back. You need to stop crying and be ready to listen.
About 10 minutes later I come back. Gabe is still crying. "Please take your hand down from your face," say quietly. Gabe hesitates. "Put it down and listen please. Are you feeling sorry for yourself?"
"Yes," Gabe sobs.
"Do you like it when Maree cries loudly?" I ask. (Gabe hates it when Maree cries. If it goes for more than minute he gets his headphones).
"No," Gabe sobs.
"Well then stop crying and listen. If you talk loudly and wake up Maree she will cry loudly. She might even cry for quite a while because she got woke up. Angel and I are both taking care of you and Maree when we say 'shhh'. If Angel says 'shhh' you have to close your mouth right away." Gabe scowls at me. It is clear that he does not like the idea that Angel can tell him to be quiet. "I am taking care of you and Maree when I say that if Angel tells you to shhh, you have to get quiet." I am repeating what I said because I think that Gabe is still unwilling to believe that I mean what I say.
"What are you going to do if Angel says shhh?" I ask.
"I don't know," Gabe whines loudly.
"Shhh," Gabe scowls at me for saying shhh again. "Listen to what I am telling you. When Angel says shhh, you have to get quiet and close your mouth." I pinch my lips. "What are you going to do when Angel says shhh?"
"I don't know! Gabe says loudly.
"Shhh," I say again. "I am talking quietly to you. Now I'm going to whisper. I want you to answer me with a whisper. You know how to whisper. When Angel says...." We go through the whole thing about 5 times more. Finally Gabe pinches his lips when I ask him what he will do. Now onto part 2. "If you need to talk to me whisper 'Mom I need to talk to you.' Can you whisper?" This whole thing of getting Gabe to whisper takes about 5 rounds. Finally he decided to whisper.
"See, I knew you could whisper. The reason we whisper is so that Maree won't scream. That way we are all happy. Do you understand that Angel and I are taking care of both of you?"
"Yes," Gabe whispers.
"You may get off of the chair. Just use a whisper voice if you need to talk."
The chance that Gabe will honor this while Maree is sleeping this time is very likely. The chance that Gabe will remember the next time that Maree is sleeping - not very good. However, over time, he usually improves with enough practice.
"I will be back in 5 minutes to talk with you," I say and leave the room. 5 minutes later I am back. Gabe is sitting in the chair that I have directed him to and crying. Quietly I say to him, "When Angel says 'shhh' to you, you have to shush. You close your mouth and stop talking. The baby..."
"I can talk if I want!" Gabe buts in.
"Shhh," I say. "If Angel or I say 'shhh' to you, you must close your mouth right away." Gabe's crying picks up.
"Are you listening?" I ask. I have kept my voice very quiet to help Gabe understand quietness is important at this time.
"I am listening! But Angel wouldn't listen," Gabe says rather loudly.
"Shhh," I say. "When Angel says 'shhh' you have to close your mouth. If you need to tell me something then find me and whisper. Say (I'm whispering at this point) 'Mom, I need to tell you something.' Can you whisper?"
"Mom I to tell something," Gabe blurts out loudly.
"Now let's say it only whisper." I whisper again, "Mom I need to tell you something."
"Mom," Gabe is even louder.
"Shhh, whisper," I say.
"Whisper!" Gabe nearly yells at me.
"Quiet, and do not say another word. Listen to me. I know that you know how to whisper. We are practicing." Gabe starts bawling. "When you get yourself together I will be back. You need to stop crying and be ready to listen.
About 10 minutes later I come back. Gabe is still crying. "Please take your hand down from your face," say quietly. Gabe hesitates. "Put it down and listen please. Are you feeling sorry for yourself?"
"Yes," Gabe sobs.
"Do you like it when Maree cries loudly?" I ask. (Gabe hates it when Maree cries. If it goes for more than minute he gets his headphones).
"No," Gabe sobs.
"Well then stop crying and listen. If you talk loudly and wake up Maree she will cry loudly. She might even cry for quite a while because she got woke up. Angel and I are both taking care of you and Maree when we say 'shhh'. If Angel says 'shhh' you have to close your mouth right away." Gabe scowls at me. It is clear that he does not like the idea that Angel can tell him to be quiet. "I am taking care of you and Maree when I say that if Angel tells you to shhh, you have to get quiet." I am repeating what I said because I think that Gabe is still unwilling to believe that I mean what I say.
"What are you going to do if Angel says shhh?" I ask.
"I don't know," Gabe whines loudly.
"Shhh," Gabe scowls at me for saying shhh again. "Listen to what I am telling you. When Angel says shhh, you have to get quiet and close your mouth." I pinch my lips. "What are you going to do when Angel says shhh?"
"I don't know! Gabe says loudly.
"Shhh," I say again. "I am talking quietly to you. Now I'm going to whisper. I want you to answer me with a whisper. You know how to whisper. When Angel says...." We go through the whole thing about 5 times more. Finally Gabe pinches his lips when I ask him what he will do. Now onto part 2. "If you need to talk to me whisper 'Mom I need to talk to you.' Can you whisper?" This whole thing of getting Gabe to whisper takes about 5 rounds. Finally he decided to whisper.
"See, I knew you could whisper. The reason we whisper is so that Maree won't scream. That way we are all happy. Do you understand that Angel and I are taking care of both of you?"
"Yes," Gabe whispers.
"You may get off of the chair. Just use a whisper voice if you need to talk."
The chance that Gabe will honor this while Maree is sleeping this time is very likely. The chance that Gabe will remember the next time that Maree is sleeping - not very good. However, over time, he usually improves with enough practice.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Sewing Area
This is a little break from talking about Gabe. One thing that I enjoy is sewing, knitting, crochet and other crafting.
My sewing "nest" is a tiny room with 2 desks and one chair between them. There is stuff stacked on either side of the desks. The ceiling comes down over one of the desks.
This view looks aver one desk and shows the other. The slanting ceiling is in the for ground. Patterns, yarns and fabrics are stacked on and beside the desk. And yes, I do work at this desk.
This picture shows an embroidery area in the corner of another room.
I also have a small table at the end of the couch where I often work.
This looks at desk #2 in the tiny room with a small storage area cut out under the stairs. The ceiling comes down over this machine because of the stairs. The room is odd shaped with an area (first picture) of 11x5ft and then an area 8x3ft (last picture - just above).
As full as it is, I do know where everything is. Most yarn is stored in the shopping bag that it came home in until I use it.
My sewing "nest" is a tiny room with 2 desks and one chair between them. There is stuff stacked on either side of the desks. The ceiling comes down over one of the desks.
As full as it is, I do know where everything is. Most yarn is stored in the shopping bag that it came home in until I use it.
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